THE LOONEY TUNES SHOW

The announced and potential candidates for the Republican nomination for the 2016 Presidential election, as well as many of the more run of the mill pols like Louie Giohmert, have been characterized in the media as a clown car, careening down America’s highways, out of control.

I have bought into that metaphor though lately, due to sheer numbers, I have suggested that perhaps instead of a car, the GOP may need to utilize a C-130 Globemaster plane to carry its heavy heavy multitudinous load.

But other comparisons may be just as apt…if not apter…or at least as comical.

For instance, Superman had his mirror image opposite, Bizarro, described as

Since his hilarious debut in the 1950s, Bizarro has been a character of equal parts humor and confusion. The imperfect duplicate of Superman, the chalk faced hero lives on the cube-shaped world of Bizarro where everything is the opposite of life on Earth. Beauty is hated, ugliness is revered, and it is a crime to make anything perfect.

http://www.dccomics.com/graphic-novels/superman-tales-of-the-bizarro-world

Simply change a few names here and you could be depicting any of a number of the GOP horde (or Hoard, depending on your desired connotation)

But as many of their public stances and utterances can only be portrayed in a kind way as “looney”, (instead of batshit crazy which is more precisely the case) invoking the Warner Brothers classic cartoon collection of personalities, Looney Tunes and deriving a Bizarro equivalent is today’s task.

A few examples.

Foghorn Leghorn‘s pomposity is readily apparent in such as Ted Cruz, always loud, and always right…except for when he is wrong which is……….ALWAYS. And ironically or not, Foghorn himself was the cartoon twin of a fictional Senator Claghorn from the Fred Allen radio show.

Foghorn is often accompanied by the young Chicken Hawk who admires his would be mentor. And we know that GOP leaders are surrounded by all manner of chicken hawks, eh?

Yosemite Sam is a blustery, rootin tootin gun toting egomaniac, ready to fire without provocation, a la Rick Perry.

The Tasmanian Devil is a whirling twirling blast of energy whose spoutings are complete gibberish. Mike Huckabee, Come On Down!

Wile E Coyote. He’s forever scheming to destroy Roadrunner but often finds the destruction turns selfward. This quote from Dean Wormer could very well be appied to Wile. “Put Neidermeyer on it. He’s a sneaky little shit just like you.” Rand Paul to a T.

Sylvester J. Pussycat is forever seeking to oppress those, such as Tweety Bird who are smaller and weaker than himself. Power hungry to a fault and willing to deprive a little old lady of one of her most prized worldly posssessions…who could possibly fil this role out of those eligible? Trick question. Why all of them of course.

Yet the cartoon characters many of us grew up with and stll admire and smile fondly at any recollection of them, within their Republican personnae, are anything but cute and amusing. Bizarro Looney Tunes to be sure.

And don’t forget, seemingly monopolistic The Acme Company represents the Koch brothers.

So while the tedious electoral road ahead to November of 2016 promises no Merrie Melodies, most Americans with the IQ of a sentient being and a modicum of common sense will be anxious to get to the finale of the cartoon and hear those glorious words

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

GLENN BECK THE HERETIC

              I sincerely hope that my computer keyboard continues operating after I have forced it to type the words Glenn Beck…………..brprh;h844joijf’     SEE? It’s already rebelling. Keyboard, I apologize. This is a one-time mission.

             Today is the day of the Glenn Beck organized rally in D.C. to “restore America’s honor”. What a crock! If any honor needs to be restored it is because it has been severely tarnished by people like Beck who believe and act like it is America’s place in the world, not to simply be a leader, but to dominate. Our ideas, ideals, culture and religion (although not our soccer teams) are superior to that of any other nation on earth. We are almighty and can do no wrong. All those little wars with many thousands of our troops killed? Well, hell, we offed millions of them gooks, ragheads and other inferior species. And we did it to make the world safe for democracy and good old Christianity, at least the Christianity that preaches abortion is bad, gotta protect the unborn, but has no problems eliminating the already born and breathing through unnecessary wars, the death penalty, (Hey, that innocent guy didn’t file his appeal on time!) and by spreading greed and pollution and filth that makes the lives of our own citizens rather dicey but is downright lethal to the parasites inhabiting the three other corners of the earth. As Superman fought for truth, justice and the American Way…….wait a minute, that’s a triumverate….what’s the third part of Beck’s battle after democracy and Christianity……oh yeah…..as Superman fought for truth, justice and the American way so Glenn Beck fights for democracy, Christianity and gold coins!!!

             Look, even a fallen Christian like me sees the heresy in  Beck’s procalamation that this is a Christian endeavor. He who spews hate on a daily basis is no more a Christian than Osama bin Laden. I was raised Presbyterian and was taught that the church was an outlet for loving and forgiveness and understanding. I still value these qualities, but Beck’s sputterings are one of the reasons I disdain organized religion and the idea of God or a god itself. Whether you consider Jesus the Messiah and son of God or look at him as an ordinary man with extraordinary teachings, the utter filth emanating from Beck has as much to do with those teachings as it does a recipe for chocolate cheesecake. Heretics used to be burned at the stake. I do not advocate that approach, but if there are lit matches near Beck, I ain’t gonna blow ’em out.