THE LOONEY TUNES SHOW

The announced and potential candidates for the Republican nomination for the 2016 Presidential election, as well as many of the more run of the mill pols like Louie Giohmert, have been characterized in the media as a clown car, careening down America’s highways, out of control.

I have bought into that metaphor though lately, due to sheer numbers, I have suggested that perhaps instead of a car, the GOP may need to utilize a C-130 Globemaster plane to carry its heavy heavy multitudinous load.

But other comparisons may be just as apt…if not apter…or at least as comical.

For instance, Superman had his mirror image opposite, Bizarro, described as

Since his hilarious debut in the 1950s, Bizarro has been a character of equal parts humor and confusion. The imperfect duplicate of Superman, the chalk faced hero lives on the cube-shaped world of Bizarro where everything is the opposite of life on Earth. Beauty is hated, ugliness is revered, and it is a crime to make anything perfect.

http://www.dccomics.com/graphic-novels/superman-tales-of-the-bizarro-world

Simply change a few names here and you could be depicting any of a number of the GOP horde (or Hoard, depending on your desired connotation)

But as many of their public stances and utterances can only be portrayed in a kind way as “looney”, (instead of batshit crazy which is more precisely the case) invoking the Warner Brothers classic cartoon collection of personalities, Looney Tunes and deriving a Bizarro equivalent is today’s task.

A few examples.

Foghorn Leghorn‘s pomposity is readily apparent in such as Ted Cruz, always loud, and always right…except for when he is wrong which is……….ALWAYS. And ironically or not, Foghorn himself was the cartoon twin of a fictional Senator Claghorn from the Fred Allen radio show.

Foghorn is often accompanied by the young Chicken Hawk who admires his would be mentor. And we know that GOP leaders are surrounded by all manner of chicken hawks, eh?

Yosemite Sam is a blustery, rootin tootin gun toting egomaniac, ready to fire without provocation, a la Rick Perry.

The Tasmanian Devil is a whirling twirling blast of energy whose spoutings are complete gibberish. Mike Huckabee, Come On Down!

Wile E Coyote. He’s forever scheming to destroy Roadrunner but often finds the destruction turns selfward. This quote from Dean Wormer could very well be appied to Wile. “Put Neidermeyer on it. He’s a sneaky little shit just like you.” Rand Paul to a T.

Sylvester J. Pussycat is forever seeking to oppress those, such as Tweety Bird who are smaller and weaker than himself. Power hungry to a fault and willing to deprive a little old lady of one of her most prized worldly posssessions…who could possibly fil this role out of those eligible? Trick question. Why all of them of course.

Yet the cartoon characters many of us grew up with and stll admire and smile fondly at any recollection of them, within their Republican personnae, are anything but cute and amusing. Bizarro Looney Tunes to be sure.

And don’t forget, seemingly monopolistic The Acme Company represents the Koch brothers.

So while the tedious electoral road ahead to November of 2016 promises no Merrie Melodies, most Americans with the IQ of a sentient being and a modicum of common sense will be anxious to get to the finale of the cartoon and hear those glorious words

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

2014—THE GOP’S TOGA PARTY

“…that a Roman toga party was held from which we have received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.”

So said Omega Doug Neidermeyer at the sham trial for the Deltas in Animal House.

I was reminded of this quote when reading about some of the Republican pledges about to become active members of that wild and crazy institution, commonly referred to as Congress. It is about to become wilder and crazier.

The Daily Kos, something I read only when a friend posts a link on Facebook, has come up with a list of the most extreme newly elected members of that once august, but now February, body—you know, cold, dark, and foreboding, and bound to feel much longer than it’s official length.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/11/05/1342284/-Meet-your-new-Craziest-Republicans?detail=facebook

The collective grade point average of these Congresspersons to be, and possibly their collective IQ, is farther south of the Mason-Dixon Line of grade point averages and IQ’s than is the South Pole from the geographical one.

They are an aggravating aggregation of Muslim hating, science denying, gun-toting, Biblical nonsense spewing, gay bashing, border closing, ISIS/Mexican drug cartel conspiracy theorizing, wanna be impeaching, UN mischaracterizing, Obamacare repealing  rivals to the already sitting preternaturally stupid Louie Gohmert and repugnantly craven Ted Cruz. (What IS in the water in Texas, anyhow?)

Many of their and their colleagues actions almost inevitably will be in a virtual food fight in their respective but not respectable Chambers in the Capitol. Just as their current nutjob counterparts are an assimilation of Bluto clones, the incoming class can be called Flounder. Why Flounder? Why not?

The voting public themselves need to become Dean Wormer, putting these Republicans on double secret probation, standing ready to expel them at the first opportunity when they commit their next offense, not against Faber but against the United States.

I can envision their Homecoming Parade through the legislative process in which they are reluctant participants at all but which they will utilize to disrupt the enjoyment of the other participants as well as all the observers. I guarantee that someone will lose their marbles and the Death Machine will emerge from the smoke.

Unfortunately the electorate that put them in office is most comparable to Omega pledge, Chip. Faced with the ignorance and mis, mal and non feasance of their present representatives they chose to add to that.

It’s the equivalent of “Thank you, Sir, may I have another.”