2014—THE GOP’S TOGA PARTY

animal

“…that a Roman toga party was held from which we have received two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here.”

So said Omega Doug Neidermeyer at the sham trial for the Deltas in Animal House.

I was reminded of this quote when reading about some of the Republican pledges about to become active members of that wild and crazy institution, commonly referred to as Congress. It is about to become wilder and crazier.

The Daily Kos, something I read only when a friend posts a link on Facebook, has come up with a list of the most extreme newly elected members of that once august, but now February, body—you know, cold, dark, and foreboding, and bound to feel much longer than it’s official length.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/11/05/1342284/-Meet-your-new-Craziest-Republicans?detail=facebook

The collective grade point average of these Congresspersons to be, and possibly their collective IQ, is farther south of the Mason-Dixon Line of grade point averages and IQ’s than is the South Pole from the geographical one.

They are an aggravating aggregation of Muslim hating, science denying, gun-toting, Biblical nonsense spewing, gay bashing, border closing, ISIS/Mexican drug cartel conspiracy theorizing, wanna be impeaching, UN mischaracterizing, Obamacare repealing  rivals to the already sitting preternaturally stupid Louie Gohmert and repugnantly craven Ted Cruz. (What IS in the water in Texas, anyhow?)

Many of their and their colleagues actions almost inevitably will be in a virtual food fight in their respective but not respectable Chambers in the Capitol. Just as their current nutjob counterparts are an assimilation of Bluto clones, the incoming class can be called Flounder. Why Flounder? Why not?

The voting public themselves need to become Dean Wormer, putting these Republicans on double secret probation, standing ready to expel them at the first opportunity when they commit their next offense, not against Faber but against the United States.

I can envision their Homecoming Parade through the legislative process in which they are reluctant participants at all but which they will utilize to disrupt the enjoyment of the other participants as well as all the observers. I guarantee that someone will lose their marbles and the Death Machine will emerge from the smoke.

Unfortunately the electorate that put them in office is most comparable to Omega pledge, Chip. Faced with the ignorance and mis, mal and non feasance of their present representatives they chose to add to that.

It’s the equivalent of “Thank you, Sir, may I have another.”

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Comments

  • Devildog  On November 6, 2014 at 2:57 PM

    Johnny Ray-Cry Me a River! UMOC at his best in conducting his “sham trial”. Oh that ignorant electorate-so different than those of 2008 and 2012. Where have all the flowers gone?

    Thanks for the laughs. Now I can’t wait to read the posts of the acolytes. Well done UMOC. A great read. It should be published first as a letter in a newspaper and then as an essay in a book of UMOC essays. Canada here I come!

    • umoc193  On November 6, 2014 at 4:45 PM

      Okay, who are you and what have you done with the real Devildog?

      Oh, wait a minute. Could this be sarcasm?

      • Little_Minx  On November 6, 2014 at 5:18 PM

        Nah, just a little well-poisoning.

      • Devildog  On November 6, 2014 at 5:47 PM

        I enjoyed you response today to Hasis’ letter to the PG!

  • Devildog  On November 6, 2014 at 5:43 PM

    #1 acolyte has appeared. Who will be #2?

    • Little_Minx  On November 7, 2014 at 12:42 PM

      Namecalling just makes you look bad, not others. So keep up the good work!

      • Devildog  On November 7, 2014 at 1:08 PM

        Name-calling? Sorry if I offended anyone (sounds like a politician apology, no). I was going to say man-up but I’m not because I want to play the role of “magnanimous” victor.

        • Little_Minx  On November 7, 2014 at 1:43 PM

          Poor, poor dd. Nobody loves him, everybody hates him, guess he’ll have to go eat worms.

          • Devildog  On November 7, 2014 at 1:54 PM

            Not my only laugh of the day but definitely one of my biggest.

  • Devildog  On November 7, 2014 at 7:29 PM

    How does 1,500 “non-combat” troops to Iraq grab you guys-announced three days after the election by the Commander in Deceit? Oh yeah, he listened to the generals alright, apparently he agreed with their position, but they played second fiddle to his political advisers while Iraq (and Syria) burned. I’m not making a judgment on what should or should not be done but I am making a judgment on Obama as man and president.

    Can’t wait to read your next, UMOC, and I fully expect Bush will be prominently mentioned-though this may be the opportunity you need to fire a rifle rather than a shotgun.

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