Tag Archives: Vladimir Putin

SAVING COAL

war-on-coal

For the past severl years there has been a huge outcry about the federal government’s war on coal. More precisely that cry began at 12:01 p.m. January 20, 2009. In searching for images to post the one I chose is one of the few that would not be criticized as NSFW.

The rhetoric charging this has been noticeably more vitriolic and sensational here in West Virgina though even representatives of the coal industry have occiasionally let slip that other factors are more responsible for any decline in coal demand and production than anything emanating from D.C.

But I’m not here to argue that issue. What I am doing is offering a way to boost the demand for West Virginia coal, however temporarily, so that our state’s miners can be assured of an income filled Christmas season.

A great Christmas tradition is to warn little children that they will receive a lump of coal in their stockings if they have been naughty, instead of the goodies all the angelic little kiddies receive.

Let us instead deliver lumps of coal to the truly terrible children around the world who are invariably disguised as adults. I’ll give you some examples as to how this will work.

Hillary Clinton——Not necessarily her sole flaw but a lot of people consider her to be far too cozy with Wall Street bankers and the like. So to her we deliver a 500 pound bag of coal lumps, to be shared with the banker friends, likely to be used to fuel document burning fires.

Mike Huckabee——One lump of coal for each of his utterances that have belied his self–proclaimed Christianity. That could keep a dozen miners busy for weeks.

Walmart——A lump of coal for each underpaid employee or one who has been forced to work on Thanksgiving away from their family. The problem here is that Walmart will probably buy the coal more cheaply from China.

David A. Bowers——He’s the mayor of Roanoke, Virginia who issued a statement which has been interpreted by some as suggesting any Syrian refugees be held in detention camps such as were employed on our own Japanese-American citizens during World War II. He later walked that statement back, though this whole thing is so muddled that he may have simply called for the internment of Syrian refugees together with Japanese-Americans and members of the mainstream media who reported his original gaffe. I’d just as soon forget him but to Bowers for Christmas goes one 2 pound lump of coal which he can utilize to call meetings to order by hitting it with his gavel.

Vladimir Putin——Invader of Ukraine and idol of FOX News and fitness fanatics alike, will receive two large lumps of coal fashioned into ten pound dumbells which he can carry while riding his horse or used as handicaps to challenge him in his other physical activities (which challenge will undoubtedly be met. He is Vladimir Putin after all) And all this while displaying his wonderful pecs.

ISIS——Well known murderers, rapists, beheaders, and internet trollers deserving of the largest load of coal at all. The lumps they recieve will not be measured in pounds or tons but, as much as I abhor mountaintop mining, it may take the removal of one mountaintop chock full of coal to be delivered to ISIS…not in lumps but in one mass dropped from above.

Donald Trump——Where do I start? Does he merit a lump for each racist, xenophobic, misogynistic declaration? One for each unnamed source, the experts or producers of dubious or outright false claims he has made or advisers he has consulted? No, better to deliver lumps equal to the number of folks who have stated they will vote for him, each of whom deserves their own bituminous filled stocking. But we will use those lumps to replace the sand in the bunkers on his golf courses—one lump per each grain. Anything remaining will be shipped to the Board Room in Trump Tower. Thenre if he declares “You’re fired!” the coal will begin burning.

Bernie Sanders——Feeling the Bern won’t mean feeling the burn from coal. Sanders is no saint, yet his proposals for the country are spot on and achievable given the will to implement them So to Bernie goes a one ton pile of coal, but one that will be kept under pressure to change it into diamonds—with the assist of Superman, naturally. Once that occurs I’m betting we can trust Bernie to spread the wealth wherever needed.

Children——Are you kidding me? Kids have done nothing to be treated with lumps of coal. What they need and deserve in their stockings, even if they’ve never heard of Santa or Christmas, is to receive assurances they wil have food and shelter and most of all love so that they will not grow up becoming eligible for lumps of coal.

 

IT’S GOOD NEWS WEEK

Goodnewsweek2009

Pardon me if I seem a little tired to you. I am positively worn out. From what, you ask? Well from celebrating the good news that has been consolidated in some stories found over the past week. Not to worry. Though I live in Morgantown, W.Va. whose reputation for post sports event destruction in victory is surpassed only by Genghis Kahn and his Hordes, I celebrated peacefully, even having a nice lunch Saturday with four conservative friends and I remained alcohol free to boot.

You should be accustomed to seeing headlines or hearing TV pundits loudly exclaim about the failures of President Barack Obama. But here in Wit and Wisdom Central we are rejoicing in his accomplishments. Oh, now you laugh because from what appears in both the mainstream media and most decidedly in the various outposts of the right wing noise and obfuscation machine, the news has been portrayed as so bad and Obama as so incompetent that he has to ask for Secret Service help in tying his shoelaces.

Even former enthusiastic supporters, those who have voted for him twice (whether that list includes Alison Lundergan Grimes we may never know) have soured on him, so we are told and that is why polls reveal that he is the least popular Chief Executive in this nation’s glorious history. And that is true. President Barack Obama’s lowest approval ratings are below those of any POTUS ever to occupy the Oval Office…any Potus to occupy the Oval Office since JFK except for LBJ, RMN,GRF, JEC, RWR, GHWB, WJC, and GWB.

That’s right, the lowest approval of Obama has been 39% but each of his predecessors fell below that mark at some time in their tenures.

http://www.ropercenter.uconn.edu/data_access/data/presidential_approval.html

But even more good news has been summarized which, if one thinks about it, may be why that approval rating is as high as it is. Plainly this good news is that there are at least 14 specific items of positive news about the nation’s performance on his watch/

Here are a few

 

1. We’ve now had 63 straight months of economic expansion.

3. Unemployment has dropped from 10.1% in October of 2009 to 5.9% and projected to reach 5.4% by summer of 2015.

5. The Federal budget deficit is shrinking. It’s been reduced by two-thirds since 2009.

7. For 95% of American taxpayers, income taxes are lower now than just about any time in the previous 50 years.

8. Our dependence on foreign oil has shrunk due to record domestic oil production and improved fuel efficiency standards.

And possibly the most important since the legislation passed to effectuate this has been one of the most contentious is memory:

9. At least 7 million more Americans now have health insurance than before.

http://jeff61b.hubpages.com/hub/14-Facts-About-The-Obama-Presidency-That-Most-People-Dont-Know

Within the story itself, alongside the bullet points, you can read in more detail what the numbers show and link to the sources if you have doubts of the veracity of these claims.

With regards to the economy and the recovery from the recession that was ongoing when Obama took office, he has led a recovery that exceeds that led by Ronald Reagan after the recession that began shortly after his inauguration.

THIS IS GOOD NEWS!

Well, as much as I take issue with the Commander In Chief, especially when he’s doing Commander in Chiefy things like drones and bombs and Guantanamos and boots on the ground but not really and failing to punch Vladimir Putin in the nose, you may be surprised to learn that the guardian of our dollars has done a pretty good job of that in many of the aspects of those efforts upon which our Presidents are often judged.

Naturally the critics will nit pick and assert that Obama does not merit kudos for  the recovery and the drop in unemployment. They will loudly proclaim that his policies had no positive effect.and that other forces were at play. And those with the perspicacity to recognize perfidy and mendacity…often called a bullshit detector…have a ready and apt response. When things go bad the President is responsible so when they go right, he deserves the credit.

I’ll ignore these critics.

 

I am going to P-A-R-T-Y.