THE WAR ON RUBBER STAMPS

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I want to call your attention to a dreadful strategy being employed all over this great nation of ours.

We are accustomed to our politicians debating about and then even legislating against various perceived enemies

Drugs? We have a war on them.

Poverty? We have a war on it.

Terror? Check, another war.

Women? We have far more women than we do any of the rest and a war on them to match.

But there is one inexplicable innocent victim. A victim that has been derided and used as a pawn for political gain, A victim of politicians everywhere with no regard for party. A victim with no ideology of its own. A victim with no history of endangering a soul, though on occasion it has been involuntarily made into a weapon.

That victim…that target of opprobrium…that scapegoat sacrificed to the whims and impure agendas of those seeking our votes…is the formerly lowly rubber stamp.

Oh, sure, you argue that the rubber stamp is capable of making you angry. Many a writer has received a response to submission of a manuscript with nothing but the word REJECTED boldly imprinted.

Your bank may send an ominous looking envelope your way and, once opened and the check you just sent for the payment on your Lamborghini is stamped INSUFFICIENT FUNDS. (Better get that raise from McDonalds, huh?)

And then you have the notice from the electric company that tells you your bill is OVERDUE.

But though you have received bad news is that really the fault of the rubber stamp? It just had the misfortune of being employed by some ham-fisted, faceless bureaucrat working for uncaring corporations who probably purchased that stamp as simply one of many, with no regard for its individuality.

Now, viewing campaign ads, we are inundated with admonitions to vote for a Republican because the Democratic opponent will be a “rubber stamp for Obama”. That’s even true in the race for Pacoima Dog Catcher.

Or, if not a rubber stamp for Obama and, depending on which House is at issue, It seems Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid have plenty of rubber stamps in their arsenals.

It happens on both sides. Democratic House and Senate candidates warn that their election rivals will be rubber stamps for John Boehner or Mitch McConnell. At least in Boehner’s case the rubber stamps come with a gift certificate to a tanning salon.

In Pennsylvania Pat Stefano is seeking a place in the state Senate as a Republican.He is facing off against Deb Kula, a Democrat who warns Stefano will be a rubber stamp for Republican Governor Tom Corbett. However,looking at the polls, if Stefano is such a rubber stamp it will read “EX-GOVERNOR”

Why can’t we promote the peaceful and benevolent uses of rubber stamps? “APPROVED”, “PAID IN FULL”, ACCEPTED AT HARVARD”, TAYLOR SWIFT’S NEXT BOYFRIEND” are just a few of the good, positive, and pleasing messages rubber stamps deliver every day.

Maybe we can restore sanity to the issue of rubber stamps when the candidates promoting this shallow, simplistic, and deceptive practice by ensuring that, on the day after the election, this stamp appears next to their names:

LOSER

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Comments

  • Little_Minx  On November 1, 2014 at 2:34 PM

    Well-done, UMOC! Another column worthy of submission to newspapers. (Those TV commercials where the rubber stamp visual with some negative message comes down over the opponent’s face or name are so-o-o obnoxious).

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