You may be familiar with this title from the Davis Grubb novel and the movie adaptation starring Jimmy Stewart. You may also be familiar with another Grubb novel, Night of The Hunter, and its subsequent big screen depiction starring Robert Mitchum.

While both stories are set in Depression era West Virginia (Grubb was born in Moundsville) Fools is somewhat lighter hearted and has a happy ending. Hunter, on the other hand, is downright scary as ex-con Mitchum tries to get his hands on some hidden loot and threatens the lives of two children, among others, to fulfill his money lust.

But I’m not speaking here of fiction and made-up characters. I’m presenting, sadly, real life characters eminently qualified for mockery but who are also eminently scary for what they want to do to children AND adults, consenting or not.

This is a parade of fools masquerading as serious candidates for public office. Coincidentally they are all Republicans. Or maybe there is no coincidence. As a character in Anthony Horowitz’s Point Blank observes

Where some
people see coincidence, I see conspiracy. That’s my job

Considering the commonality of the statements and actions of these GOP office seekers I see no coincidence. I see conspiracy.

Kicking off the parade, merrily making his way down Main Street as Drum Major, is one Thom Tillis, hoping to unseat Kay Hagan as Senator from North Carolina. In a recent debate with Hagan he claimed “By voting for Obamacare, Sen. Kay Hagan ‘voted to kill the equivalent of 2.5 million jobs.’ ” That’s false information presented in a distorted manner.

Scott Walker is campaigning to be re-elected governor of Wisconsin. He doesn’t like the minimum wage. “Jobs that involve the minimum wage are overwhelmingly jobs for young people starting out in the workforce.” Now, if overwhelmingly means slightly more than 50% he’s right. But any dictionary definition of “overwhelmingly” will reveal that is not what it means.

Next down the street in a flaming red convertible is Scott Brown, the peripatetic Senate candidate who may soon show up on your doorstep soliciting votes. He combine his worries about our Mexican border with the current unwarranted Ebola hysteria into this, “One of the reasons why I’ve been so adamant about closing our border because if people are coming through normal channels, can you imagine what they can do through a porous border,”

Yes, cruise ships carrying thousands of passengers from Ebola ravaged West Africa are docking in Cancun every day and discharging their infectees to wend their way to Laredo where they intend to immediately discharge their rotten bodily fluids into the local water supply.

(What is it with these guys named Scott, and whatever happened to Randolph Scott?)

Riding on The Conspiracy Theory Float is one Joni Ernst.”All of us agreed that Agenda 21 is a horrible idea. One of those implications to Americans, again, going back to what did it does do to the individual family here in the state of Iowa, and what I’ve seen, the implications that it has here is moving people off of their agricultural land and consolidating them into city centers, and then telling them that you don’t have property rights anymore. These are all things that the UN is behind, and it’s bad for the United States and bad for families here in the state of Iowa.”

Agenda 21 is a United Nations sustainability program, voluntary and non-binding on the U.S. and signed by that well-known Commie, President George H.W. Bush in 1992. I can tell you exactly how many Iowa farm families have been forced to move to urban areas. ZERO! Field of Dreams is less fantasy than her Agenda 21 silliness.

Arriving next on the Koch brothers float …actually a train of fifty floats because, well because they have the money to do anything they want, buying parades and elections and countries alike…we have Mitch McConnell who is fighting for his political life in Kentucky with Alison Lundergan Grimes mounting a strong challenge for his Senate seat.

“Kentucky Kynect is a Web site. It was paid for by a $200-and-some-odd-million grant from the federal government. The Web site can continue. But in my view, the best interest of the country would be achieved by pulling out Obamacare, root and branch…. Now, with regard to Kynect, it’s a state exchange. They can continue it if they’d like to. They’ll have to pay for it because the grant will be over. And with regard to the Medicaid expansion, that’s a state decision. The states can decide whether to expand Medicaid or not. In our state, the governor decided to expand Medicaid.

Well the web site, which he adores, does not exist without the Affordable Care Act, and neither does the Medicaid expansion which he feels is all right because it’s a state choice. If the law is repealed the health insurance for over 400,000 Kentuckians goes in the crapper.

And now occupying the esteemed position of Grand Marshal of the Fools Parade is the truly amazing Louie Gohmert of Texas, looking to retain the seat in the House of Representatives on which he has parked his brain since 2005.

Befitting Gohmert’s superiority, his place as a Fool among fools, his spoken inanities are so frequent and so numerous, that to list them here would take more time than I have since I need to see my urologist for followup on December 18. However, I do have one collection of them judged to be his worst. Like favorite Baroque composers, or rock guitarists, or home run hitters you may have your own favorites. And like those categories there are many possible choices that you must sort through to come up with your own rankings.

But check out the ones to be found here.

I won’t spoil all the fun but one has to do with nominating Allen West for Speaker of the House AFTER he had lost his bid for re-election.

Time to go home and let the cleanup begin.While it has been fun and joyous to witness this spectacular, our next entry for this biennial event is not due until 2016. Who will be the Grand Marshal then? Christie? Cruz? Walker? Santorum?

Tune in then and hope there is no cause to turn on and drop out prior to then.

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  • Devildog  On October 29, 2014 at 8:12 PM


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