You may have heard of a law passed in 2010 called the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA) which has been derisively called “Obamacare” after the President who urged its passage. I believe there have been a couple of news stories concerning it. (The same President Obama who, if memory serves, was re-elected just over a week ago for a second term, proving that his policies are abhorrent to most Americans, he said sarcastically.)

Among the provisions of that law are ones that deal with how businesses treat their employees with regard to offering health insurance coverage.

Now that repeal of the PPACA appears ever less likely, some business owners have seemingly entered a competition to determine which one can make the most outrageous statements or initiate the most absurd actions as some demented form of protest against the wishes of the American electorate.

Collectively these protests stimulate thinking people to ponder the great question of our time, “How the hell did these idiots become successful and rich in the first place?”

For example John Scnatter founder and CEO of Papa Johns Pizza has vowed to cut the hours of his employees since only those working over 30 hours per week are covered. He insists that his additional costs will mean an increase in the price of each pizza by 13-14 cents. WOW!! Never mind that some critics such as Stephen Colbert believe his pizza tastes like the “ass of a raccoon”. (How Colbert knows this is unknown.)

A day or so ago Scnatter added that his overall cost increase will be $5-8 million. But you may have heard about his two million pizza giveaway promotion in collaboration with the NFL. I don’t know what his pizza prices are since I avoid eating both cheese and raccoon asses, but at $10 per that means he’s giving away $20 million for this sweepstakes contest. (His out-of pocket cost may be lower but that figure does represent lost revenue if not actual cost.)

Now along comes one John Metz…and didn’t the Mets finish with a worse record than the Pirates?…a restaurant owner and franchisee from West Palm Beach, Florida with a total of nearly 100 outlets, about half Denny’s or Dairy Queens. As of 2014 when the law is fully implemented he intends to add a 5% surcharge to his diners’ checks for “Obamacare”.

That sounds like a great plan, John, make your customers pay more for their meals tied to one specific added cost.

Now I have friends living in that area who he may piss off by doing this because they, along with millions of other fine folk, LIKE the law. Even if there’s a 50-50 split in approval of the legislation, he’s possibly alienating half his customer base by politicizing this. But, just watch, if his business declines he’ll blame everyone but himself.

But figuring this might be a good way for business owners to pass on their costs to their customers, I can envision other surcharges.

  • The dry cleaning operator who parks illegally in a Handicapped spot in a hurry to open his store is fined $300. Customer picks up suit and gets bill for $5,75 plus $8 surcharge  for “crippled people”.
  • Restaurant owner suffers gas leak undetected till he gets enormous bill adds 7% surcharge  for “hiring crummy plumber”.
  • CPA having affair with his office assistant adds $25 surcharge for preparing each tax return for “Muffy’s love nest apartment”.
  • Same CPA’s wife learns of “Muffy” and he adds $200 surcharge for “broken jaw and divorce attorney”.
  • Blog writer adds $2.50 surcharge for”treatment for high blood pressure caused by asshole Republicans”.

Just inform me when the check is in the mail.

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  • Jessica Piper  On November 16, 2012 at 8:33 AM

    Love, love, love! I would consider myself pretty conservative, but the outrageous statements made by those business owners is enough to make me puke…so dumb!

    • umoc193  On November 16, 2012 at 9:30 AM

      I doubt they’re gaining fans as fast as they’re losing customers. It is a dumb business proposition no matter your sentiments on the background issue.

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