Yes, I love gays, though I am not among their number. But then again, I love women and I’m not among their number either. Likewise with blacks, Asians, Indians, Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Zoroastrians or anyone else belonging to the species known as homo sapiens. You know, human beings.

Note that the term for mankind is HOMO sapiens, not HETERO sapiens.

If I were a devout Christian, I would be proud to follow the admonition of Christ to “love thy neighbor as thyself”. I am not a devout Christian, instead hovering on the precipice between agnosticism and outright atheism, yet I take pride in trying to follow this admonition.

With all this brouhaha about gay marriage I find it at least slightly ironic that Jesus’ s words are found in  Matthew 22 where he presents the wedding parable.

Verses 37-39 give the full quote and context:

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.


Another irony is that the same phrase appears in Leviticus, which is the source for much of the approbation directed towards gays.

‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:18


President Obama last week spoke in favor of gay marriage, explaining what he called his evolutionary thought process. Whether that is accurate is of no issue here.

However, evolution is very much the process I personally went through to arrive at my present condition where I can openly say, “I love gays”.

Growing up, especially as a teenager when puberty’s raging hormones foment all manner of irrational behavior, like most of my contemporaries we made fun of queers. Not that many of us truly knew what queer was or who might accurately be described that way, but the wise guys who’d already ascended up the ladder of sexual knowledge gleefully bequeathed us the sense that queer was bad and was to be avoided.

That attitude prevailed through college. But when I returned to Morgantown in 1974, the atmosphere was changing. When, a year later, I met the young woman who would eventually become my wife, I became exposed to the reality that homosexuals actually existed and…GASP!…they were normal people.

My girlfriend was an art major and many gays came from that school, but her entire coterie of friends consisted of folks of varying colors, genders, and sexual persuasions. Some were nice, some were obnoxious, some gave no outward signs of being gay while others were flamboyantly so.

A big “Ho-Hum” was my reaction.

My evolution was in its early stages.

In 1986, when I was married with children, an old friend, a fraternity brother re-entered my life. Harry had moved to D.C. in 1975 to go to seminary. He was married to a woman at the time. But in the intervening years we had little contact and rumors swirled that Harry was now “out of the closet”.

Rumors can be true. Harry visited in Morgantown and came by our house and we talked for a few hours before he had to return to the Capital area. Other than him touching briefly on now being openly gay the conversation was pretty much like any other with someone you haven’t seen for years.

Beginning in 2006 our fraternity alumni have had reunions and Harry has attended all but one of the now annual affairs. The fact that he is gay was known among the brothers but is essentially a non-issue at this point.

Harry and I have become closer than ever these past six years and I’ve met Mark, his partner of over thirty years and whom he married in Canada seveal years ago.

I have read tales of violent discrimination against gays and been disgusted. I have seen loving gay couples and heard and read other tales of their simple desire to enjoy the rights granted other loving, monogamous couples.

I do question their quest to be married in the standard way. After all, there is a valid reason that marriage is called an “institution”. Who the hell wants to be in an institution?

Then there is Zach Wahls. He is the remarkable young man raised by two women as a couple. He spoke before the Iowa legislature on the topic of gay marriage and has a book out My Two Moms: Lessons of Love, Strength, and What Makes a Family.

He has appeared on talk shows like Letterman. Commenting on gay marriages destroying “regular” marriage he opined that Kim Kardashian was doing a good job of that herself.

Many of those who oppose gay marriage or, in some cases, any legal protections for gays, speak of the “gay agenda”.

They are right. Gays do have an agenda. They want to live in harmony with their families and friends, work at jobs that provide a living and are satisfying, live in a comfortable home, and generally be able to strive to achieve the American dream. You know, just like the other 310 million or so of their fellow Americans.

I love all people who share these dreams and seek to fulfill them honestly without detriment to fellow citizens.

I love gays.

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