MITT—HAVE I GOT A RUNNING MATE FOR YOU!

Now that Rick Santorum, his strongest challenger, has left the race for the Republican Presidential nomination Mitt Romney appears to have the nomination sewn up, at least as a practical matter if not yet officially.

The speculation had already begun as to whom he would choose as his running mate. The 2008 GOP standard bearer, Sen. John McCain, weighed in recently when asked who he would recommend. He replied, “Sarah Palin”, then began laughing. Unless you’ve been staying with the Gingrich family on the moon the past four years you’re aware of what a disaster she was as McCain’s running mate in 2008 and the fact there is no love lost between the two.

In that same interview McCain mentioned several possibilities whose names have been bandied about, such as Booby Jindal, Marco Rubio, and Mitch Daniels.

I love Mitt so much that I am going to offer my personal asistance with this vital decision. Utilizing my special brand of insight and my extreme outsider knowledge I’ll inform him on who that person should be. It won’t be easy. We all know how many equally qualified candidates lie within the Republican Party.

It is not unusual for the nominee to select a former rival for the position to join him on the ticket. Witness JFK-LBJ in 1960 and Reagan-Bush in 1980. Since last year and this there were a slew of challengers, let’s examine them first.

Newt Gingrich was Speaker of the House, next in line to the Vice President to succeed the President if necessary. That’s already too close to the Oval Office for comfort and  he could be in a quandrary deciding which wife to ask to be his escort at state dinners. Just don’t let him pay for anything. (Psssst…..his checks bounce)

Rick Santorum did much better in the campaign than expected and definitely has the self-righteous smirk factor well-covered. But based on possible lingering resentment from the way Romney forces treated him during his run, if anything did happen to Mitt as President, Santorum would be first in line as a suspect.

Ron Paul might be good at taming any bellicose tendencies Romney may develop. However, if his pet project is adopted, returning the U.S. to the gold standard, Romney would be compelled to add substantially to his fleet of Cadillacs in order to transport the gold bullion now representing his $25 million annual income from his investments alone.

Jon Huntsman was one of the most reasonable candidates in the race, has daughters who merit more public attention (at least my attention) and was the only sane person on the dais at most debates. However, sanity and the Republican Party are incompatible plus Huntsman is a Mormon from Utah mirroring Romney’s own religion and one of his dozen or so home states.

Michelle Bachmann has proven to be resilient subsequent to her exit from the race, demonstrating  time and time again her flair for fantastical public utterings. Alas her questionable sense of direction might well lead her to appear in Washington, Pa. rather than Washington, D.C. to preside over the Senate.

Herman Cain has excellent credentials as a businessman and, frankly, brings that diversity factor to the table. But his 9-9-9 plan had everyone confused as to whether it referred to taxes or to his extramarital affairs, the number of women he sexually harrassed, and the number of harrassment lawsuits already settled.

Rick Perry has at least three valuable qualities desirable in a running mate but for the life of me I cannot remember ANY of them.

Gary Johnson and Buddy Roemer also sought the nomination.Some of their ideas passed muster with this firm liberal. But the former was governor of New Mexico which most Americans do not realize is actually a state, not a country.  The latter sounds as if he was named for two pet dogs—Buddy and Roamer.

Senator Marco Rubio of Florida and Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana are considered to be rising stars among Republican politicians. But both are children of immigrant parents and we KNOW how candidates of that description are treated by skeptics. (Or is it just certain ones?)

Governor Mitch Daniels of Indiana pulled the plug on his own Presidential aspirations early on. He is well thought of but

a) No one is sure if he is awake

b)No one is sure if he can keep voters awake.

Paul Ryan, the budget darling of the GOP, has had his name mentioned due to his “brilliance” on budget matters. But neither budget he has shepherded through the House of Representatives would have done anything to end deficits, merely pissing off Medicare Card carrying grannies instead. Those people vote!

Allen West is a freshman Congressman from Florida who was an army officer. Sounds good until you recall he was nearly court-martialed for pulling a gun on an Iraqi in an attempt to intimidate him. Now he is in the news for claiming there are 78-81 Communist Party members among the Democrats in the House. I’m not even sure he’s ever been in Wheeling, W.Va. Wait a minute……those may be his STRONG points for GOPers.

After due consideration of a number of possibilities I believe the choice of Mitt Romney for someone to share the ticket boils down to this. He needs someone with experience. He needs someone with name recognition. He needs someone to deflect the harsh media glare away from the inevitable mistakes all candidates make..

Yes, this choice is obvious, so obvious you probably saw it coming six hundred words ago.

That choice is…………………………………………….SARAH PALIN!

Her experience is that she ‘s been down this road before. Her name recognition is off the charts, even if it is very often preceded by %$#&^#$%#*,. She will easily deflect media attention away from Mitt as her public pronouncements will make his appear reasoned and rational and non-flip-floppy by comparison.

She will have learned from 2008. Why I bet she has been reading a national newspaper regularly even if it has been Grit.

Besdies, when she is part of a losing ticket again that somehow she believes she is the star of maybe, just maybe, she will finally acknowledge that voters ”  are just not that into her.”

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Comments

  • little_minx  On April 13, 2012 at 10:37 PM

    I was thinking more along the lines of Eric Cantor — just because I’d love to see the Evangelicals’ heads explode over a Romney-Cantor ticket 😉

    • umoc193  On April 13, 2012 at 11:54 PM

      Didn’t really think of Cantor, but remember, I said the GOP had numerous candidates all equally qualified, which means not at all.

      But you’re right about the religious aspect. evangelicals rabidly support Israel, but I’m not sure about Jews on this side of the world.

      • little_minx  On April 14, 2012 at 10:46 AM

        Hardcore Evangelicals view Jews as potential converts to their brand of Christianity. Something to do with the end of days, I think (rolls eyes).

        • umoc193  On April 14, 2012 at 3:18 PM

          I’m not so sure about conversion. the ones I know identify because Israel occupies their “holy land”. And Israel wants to kill all the Muslims. I don’t think many of the evangelicals want much to do with Jews if it doesn’t involve Israel.

  • little_minx  On April 26, 2012 at 5:13 PM

    Anyone else think “Joseph Richins” and “Addyson Mclin” are spammers who post generic messages?

    • umoc193  On April 26, 2012 at 5:39 PM

      Well, Word Press does, and flagged them as such. I approved giving them the benefit of the doubt. I’ll remove them.

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