RICK SANTORUM—IT’S TIME TO ABORT

I’m watching MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning as the talking heads there report on the latest Republican primary results and speculate on the survival of Rick Santorum’s candidacy in light of Mitt Romney winning in all three Tuesday contests in Wisconsin, Maryland, and Washington, D.C.

They showed a clip of Santorum back home in Pennsylvania with supporters vowing to continue his fight for the nomination. Fittingly he was in Mars. Or perhaps he was ON Mars. With his almost totally alien viewpoints and political positions I’ve been wondering what planet he’s from and now the answer emerges.

Of course there are any number of Western  Pa. locales that could have just as well represented this extraterrestrial metaphor such as Moon or Apollo, but it is doubtful, given his proclamations regarding marriage and family,  that Santorum will ever make a campaign appearance in Intercourse, Pa.

When the Republican candidates’ debates began polluting our TV screens and insulting our intelligence last year, Santorum looked out of place on the stage. I likened his appearance to that of the geek who somehow wrangles an invitation to, or maybe even blatantly crashes, the cool guys’ party. While there  the rest of the guests try to ignore him or make him feel unwelcome and out of place.

Of course if you’ve ever been to such an affair with such a guest you know that sometimes, somehow, that geek imposes his geekiness on others to the extent that the entire party turns into a freak show with the geek at or near the center of attention.

In this instance as other guests, themselves with notable cringe factor personalities, depart the scene, the  geek eventually looks almost mainstream.

But as the spotlight focuses more on the geek his true repulsiveness becomes more and more evident even as most of the other survivors seem less and less relevant.

Finally one reaches the point of almost retching at the sight and sound of the geek reveling in his perceived newfound popularity. This ego boost he is experiencing is bound to come crashing back into reality.

As Romney’s delegate count balloons while Santorum’s stagnates, as other prominent Republicans issue their endorsements of Romney, however tepid, and as the party leadership and pundits opine that the GOP needs to coalesce around the most viable candidate to oppose Barack Obama, it is now time, as it inevitably would become, for Rick Santorum to do something antithetical to his core being and that is to perform an abortion ending his run.

Or, to possibly be more attuned to the advice he advocates for others for their personal lives Rick—PULL OUT NOW!

We can only pray that in doing so he does not leave behind any traces of his DNA.

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Comments

  • little_minx  On April 4, 2012 at 3:31 PM

    …nor in this unincorporated tiny spot in the Keystone State:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Ball,_Pennsylvania

    • umoc193  On April 4, 2012 at 4:08 PM

      I thought about that place, but didn’t want to appear to be piling on. LOL

      • little_minx  On April 4, 2012 at 4:26 PM

        Tell me another one…

  • thescarletpumpernickel  On April 5, 2012 at 6:44 AM

    Given his track-record on science and established fact, I’d be surprised if he believes that we actually landed on the moon. (Apollo)

    As for his family values, (Intercourse), I’d say Dick lives in a glass house. You didn’t hear it from me, but I understand that he has been stumping. Worse, he is an unrepentant public masticator!

    • umoc193  On April 5, 2012 at 2:04 PM

      To be fair, most politicians at one time or another masticate in public. It’s just their nature and no law can prevent it. We just have to be patient and avert our eyes when they do it in front of us and hope nothing gets on us.

  • little_minx  On April 5, 2012 at 2:52 PM

    Imagine the family shame should one of his brood become a thespian!

  • little_minx  On April 8, 2012 at 8:41 PM

    Here’s a heartwarming Pascal story for Padre Rick, just as nature intended:
    http://www.imperfectparent.com/topics/2012/04/08/10-year-old-girl-gives-birth

    (Obviously the deity was punishing her for being a slut who couldn’t hold an aspirin between her knees).

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