All you lovers out there may have that one special song that fits your relationship or perhaps a certain tune was playing when you looked across the table into each other’s eyes and simultaneously realized “That’s the ONE!”

But what about those poor couples who don’t resemble the idealized love match? They need music, too. I humbly and generously offer my suggestions.

For the man whose woman may have a little too much experience:

That’s Why The Lady Is A Tramp

For the man who has been rejected but still pursues her:

Every Breath You Take (I’ll Be Watching You)

For the woman who has been rejected but still pursues him:

I Will Follow Him

For the hooker with a pimp:

You Don’t Own me

For co-joined twins

Let’s Stay Together

For someone indifferent to their ex’s hurt over their breakup:

Cry Me A River

For strangers who hook up for a one night stand:

You Don’t Know Me

For a divorced couple still sharing living quarters:

Seven Rooms of Gloom

For the couple who met in a mental hospital:

Let’s Go Crazy

For the sado-masochist couple:

Love Hurts

For the male gay couple to each other:

I’m A Man

For the female gay couple to each other:

I am Woman

For the transgendered woman to her lover:

You Make Me Feel Like a natural Woman

For the couple that enters marathons together:

Born To Run

For the couple that hasn’t yet gone all the way:

Sticky Fingers

For the Wiccan couple:


For the Druid couple visiting Stonehenge:

Let’s Go Get Stoned

For the rancher in love with his cattle:

Wooly Bully

For the man who ties his lover up:

Twine Time

For the couple that procrastinates:

Don’t Stop Thinkin’ About Tomorrow

For the man lost in the desert who imagined he saw his lover:

Just A Mirage

For the couple that met while climbing Mt. Everest:

I’m Sitting on Top of The World

For the couple whose house is on fire:

We Gotta Get Out Of This Place

For me after all these years:

Only The Lonely

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