Twas the night before sparkle season and all through the mist

Not a creature was stirring not even an atheist

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care

While knowing SuperPac funds soon would be there.


The neocons were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of secular humanists danced in their heads

And Ma in her Cain wear and I in my hat

Told me she’d been cheatin’ and how about that.


When out in the yard there arose such commotion

I grabbed my AK-47 and came to full motion

I opened the window and looked to the sky

And saw something strange flying right by.


It held a hippie with long hair and beard

Holding an OWS sign I was afeard

Toward the flying object a rock I did lob

And yelled “take a bath and get you a job!”


It soon became clear he was pulled by some mammals

But definitely not any dirty Muslim camels

He guided his charges by verbal commands

And named them all off, counting on his bare hands


On Boehner, on Ryan on Cantor and Romney

You are purveyors of pure calumny

Thank god you’ve gotten rid of Ms Palin

But you always knew Supercommittee was failin’


On my roof he did land and came down my flue

I hurried downstairs to ask what he do

He had stuffed our stockings with gifts I was sure

To see what was there I dropped my gun to the floor


He was already gone when I saw what he’d left

All lumps of coal leaving me so bereft

There was a paper I read and said “Fudge it”

“Sir, you’re paying more taxes to balance the budget”


I rushed outside to watch him take off

Smog from global warming caused me to cough

It seemed holiday wishes he was trying to say

But I took my gun and just blew him away.



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