I’ve been describing the ongoing debates for the Republican candidates for President as a touring clown car, dispensing its passengers in towns big and small to stage yet another comic exhibition for the local townsfolk that also reaches a TV audience.

But perhaps my assessment of the style of entertainment these politicians offer as a circus act is wrong. One could just as easily view it as the latest reality show. Instead of being produced by MTV or Bravo,  various entities have had this responsibility and several networks/cable channels have aired the debates.

Dick Polman in an op-ed piece in the Post-Gazette urges that they continue.

…the GOP is staging one of the great reality shows, with a rollicking cast of colorful characters who keep getting voted off the island but keep coming back for more.

There’s a cliff-hanger every week.

Will Rick Perry master the English sentence and reclaim his cognitive memory?

Will Michele Bachmann utter another whopper that is light-years from factual reality?

Will Newt Gingrich double-down on his claim that Freddie Mac paid him big bucks for his advice “as a historian”?

Will Herman Cain demonstrate that he knows the difference between Afghanistan and what he has called “Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan”?

Will Rick Santorum volunteer to personally lead the first bombing raid on Iran?

Will Jon Huntsman stop reminding viewers that he looks like Ricky Ricardo on “I Love Lucy”?

And then there’s Mitt Romney, still the likely 2012 nominee, who stares at his hapless rivals with a look best described as polite patrician bemusement, as if to say: “Keep talking, inferiors. The deeper you dig your holes, the easier it will be for me to bury you with my money.”

Despite the comparison to Survivor none of the particpants has yet appeared nude. Aspects of The Real Life are also present but none of the debaters has stumbled in drunk……well Perry has sounded that way a couple of times……nor has there been a scratching, hair-pulling cat fight between Bachmann and Santorum.

The only thing they have in common with Pawn Stars is that their economic policies will probably lead to more Americans needing pawn shop services.

They could easily be on Over Your Head, the HGTV show where folks trying expensive renovations on their own find they are incompetent and seek expert assistance.

All of them have already appeared on Top Shot but were the first ones eliminated, being unable to aim at the correct target.

The behavior of several of them emulates that of the to-be married stars of Bridezillas, insisting their campaign is all about “me, me, me”

The perfect show for them might be American Pickers. In that series Mike and Frank travel the country searching for hidden treasures in old barns, storage sheds and even underground tunnels. Often they turn up objects they buy for a relative pittance and manage to sell at a decent profit.

The problem is their GOP counterparts, especially Romney, would buy an entire stash for pennies on the dollar, fire the people they bought it from, spin off the merchandise to a shell company secretly controlled by them, collect fees for their “services” to each party involved, sell the merchandise at a profit of which they take the largest cut, and put the shell company into bankruptcy but only after receiving a guaranteed golden parachute.

Hmmm. Now that I think about it, my original assesment of the GOP field as a clown act was right. Not to worry. Just as musician Tommy Lee had his Tommy Lee Goes to College reality series, we can follow these birds as they progress through professional training at the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Clown College in Sarasota, Florida.

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  • By Landon Spotts on December 4, 2011 at 11:43 AM

    Landon Spotts…

    Thank you ever so for you article.Much thanks again. Great….

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