FOOTBALL GEOGRAPHY

It has become exceedingly difficult to keep up with college sports these days what with the constant realignment and changing membership of their conferences. One criticism which is common is that, no matter what other affinity certain sets of schools have for each other, geography seems to not matter at all.

TCU, in Fort Worth, Texas, was due to join the Big East in 2012. Hell, TCU isn’t even in the eastern portion of the Dallas metroplex! But they have now decided to remain in their region and join the Big 12 conference which has current members from Texas. However, West Virginia University is leaving the Big East for the Big 12, or will if the numerous courts in which suits have been filed let them.

Pittsburgh, about 400 miles inland from the Atlantic coast, is joining the Atlantic Coast Conference. For years now Arizon and Arizona State have belonged to the Pacific Athletic Conference, and Colorado and Utah are moving there. The old joke about the next big earthquake ripping California off the map will need to come true before any of those schools can advertise the availability of surf and sand to attract students.

I have a better idea. Let’s ensure that schools are geographically compatible. I offer the following new conference setup.

The North Conference

  1. North Dakota
  2. North Carolina
  3. Northern Illinois
  4. Northern Kentucky
  5. The Northern Alliance
  6. North to Alaska (a fine Johnny Horton hit, also)
  7. Jay North
  8. Andy North

The South Conference

  1. South Dakota
  2. South Carolina
  3. South Carolina State
  4. Southern California
  5. South Alabama
  6. South Central L.A.
  7. Southern Comfort
  8. South Philly

The East-West Memorial Shrine Game Conference

  1. West Virginia
  2. East Carolina
  3. Western Michigan
  4. Eastern Michigan
  5. Wild Wild West
  6. East Timor
  7. West Nile Virus
  8. East-West University (in Chicago)

The Schools in The States That Don’t matter Conference

  1. Delaware
  2. Idaho
  3. Montana
  4. Maine
  5. Alaska
  6. Wyoming
  7. New Hampshire
  8. Florida

With this proposed alignment crowning a true national champion in football with a playoff should be be easy to facilitate, but I see potential problems. The South schools may secede. The North schools may be delayed by cold weather. East is East and West is West and ne’er the twain shall meet. None of the states that don’t matter have air travel or electricity.

Other than that it is a perfect system.Don’t you agree?

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