Joomia is, by its own description

 the dynamic portal engine and content management system


My own familiarity with it mostly comes from the web site for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette which utilizes it for, among other things, allowing comments on its community blogs.

As with many such blogs or comment areas on the web, it requires entry of a code for each reader post to prevent spam. It changes each time.

On the PG I participate in online discussions in a few of these blogs and on one in particular, any of the regular posters are likely to note what their Joomia code is if the five letter combination seems to suggest a certain word or thought.

A short time ago my joomia was the title of this blog entry…FUMHK. I was struck by the potential versatility of that as an expression of exasperation. In truth it may be an acceptable alternative to another versatile word…a four letter one with the identical beginning and ending letters…that is used in verb, noun, and adjective form, with appropriate pre- and suf-  fixes that polite society usually finds abhorrent.

Though I try to spend as little time as possible in polite society, necessity or happenstance nonetheless places me there where I often feel my ability to self-express is stifled…thank you, Archie Bunker.

But now, I have a brand new word with no preconceived negative connotations and which could be spoken on TV or radio with absolutely no fear of drawing sanctions from the FCC.

Let’s experiment here. Oh? Your response is “What the fumhk, why not?”

That’s pretty fumhking cool.

For those who disagree you can just go fumhk yourself. I’m in a bad mood anyhow having got really fumhked up last night.

What’s odd is that some of the comments on the blog where I discovered my new friend are just un-fumhking-believeable! You simply cannot imagine what opinions some of those fumhkers have.

But then what else can you expect from those fumhking conservatives, though they think it’s the liberals who are fumhked up.

There are many situations where this one new word will be perfectly expressive of one’s true feelings or reaction.

Junior brings home a report card with all A’s and shows it to Mom who shrieks “Fumhk!, honey, I’m so proud of you.”

Junior brings a report card home with all F’ s and shows it to Dad eliciting this, “Fumhk, oh fumhk!! You’re grounded!”

You ask your boss for a raise. ” Fumhk!! You’re not woth the $4.25 an hour we’re paying you now.”

Charles Manson appears before a judge asking for his sentence to be reduced because he has a large family to support and the judge replies, ” You’re fumhking nuts!!” and then collapses in uncontrollable laughter.

John McEnroe comes out of retirement to resume his tennis career and tennis linesmen everywhere collectively respond, “Are you fumhking serious?”

Ray Charles sends a request from the great beyond to have the title of one of his popular songs changed to “Let’s Go Get Fumhked.”

 Or since Ed Sullivan wanted to censor their performance anyhow, the Rolling Stones could have sung “Let’s Spend The Fumhk Together” without oprobrium from Ed. (Or maybe not)

Tom Cruise could have exclaimed ” Sometimes you just have to go ‘What the fumhk’ ” in Risky Business without offending the parents of young teens in the theater.

The cast of The Sopranos could have kept every “Fumhk You” and “That’s fumhking crazy” or “You’re a motherfumhker” without the need to overdub for reruns on other networks after HBO.

George Carlin could have changed his routine to “Six Dirty Words You Can’t Say On TV”, though somehow I’m not sure he would have fumhking appreciated that.

Ozzy Osbourne is known for his obscene, almost indecipherable rants so I have no idea if he would sound different. Perhaps it would go something like this,”%$#+8&^ing*&@##!+^%$ers*(&^#$$#ing+_*&**&Fumhk.

I’m starting to have a bad feeling about this. Maybe it won’t be as popular an idea as I have imagined. My coinage will never become an accepted entry in the Oxford OED. It will never become a guaranteed laugh-getter for Dave Letterman like his squirrel’s nuts references.

My pride and joy will never be deemed to be on the same level as Shakespeare’s famus coinages. It’s appearance on a home-made banner at a sporting event will only attract laughter rather than hordes of angry ushers rushing to eject the offending party.

Oh well. As Joel Goodsen (Tom Cruise) would say


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  • Toadsly  On April 22, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    LOL, Umoc 193. Funny post. Have a great Easter!

  • Madeline  On May 16, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    I have really enjoyied reading your well written article. It looks like you spend a lot of effort and time on your blog. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles. Keep up the good work!

  • Deke  On May 20, 2011 at 7:40 PM

    Well I’m better late then never. I will go trout fishing tomorrow and have a few cool one UMOC.

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