Pet Peeves

Like most people, I have a number of pet peeves. However, due to my intelligence, vast store of knowledge, erudition, experience and purveyor of totally correct opinions, mine are more valid than yours. Take that!

This list will be expanded periodically. So don’t get comfortable and think your gaffes have escaped my attention.

Folks who say, “I could care less”. If you could care less, you evidently care at least a little. To express utter disdain for something and indicate you care not a whit say, “I couldn’t care less”.

“Thank you for lending me your umbrella”                                                That’s cool. No problem. No trouble at all. Yeah right. Sure thing. WHAT THE HELL’S WRONG WITH SAYING “YOU’RE WELCOME”? Simple, direct, traditional, clearly understood.

Using an apostrophe to indicate plurals. ex. Those doofusse’s use apostrophe’s to show plural’s. ex. Mailboxes or other home signs saying “The Hammond’s”. No, it is the Hammonds who live there, not showing ownership of anything. And if it is intended to mean house of the Hammonds, it would be “The Hammonds’ ” with home implied. ex. “We serve beer and wing’s.” This shit drives me crazy.

Not understanding the difference between your and you’re and possibly yore or the difference between there, their and they’re or the difference between its and it’s.

Your is the possessive form of you. ” Your new car is wonderful”. You’re is the contraction of you are. “You’re lucky to be able to afford such a wonderful new car.” Yore refers to the past as in ” Knights were gallant in days of yore and had no wonderful cars.”

There refers to place. “Your car is parked over there”. They’re is the contraction of they are. “They’re stealing your car parked over there”. Their is the possessive form of they. ” Their car is being stolen from over there while they’re watching”.

Its is a possessive form of it. It’s is the contraction of it is. ” That car has a dent in its door. It’s already rusted”.

The use of I when me is correct. Not “They gave Vivian and I a new car” but ” they gave Vivian and ME a new car.” As this mistake is most common when including another person, try the sentence with just yourself in it. ” They gave I a new car”. Obviously wrong. “They gave ME a new car”, correct.

So when their gift to Vivian and me is a new car with a dent in its door and it’s already rusted, they’re under no obligation to repair it. So you’re mad about the damaged car sitting there and your choices are limited.

The use of any modifier with the word “unique” is wrong. Unique means one of a kind. So something is not “more unique” or “very unique” or any kind of unique. Something that is one of a kind cannot be said to be more one of a kind than another nor very one of a kind. It is one of a kind, i.e. unique.

The pronunciation of the word “forte” as for-tay when speaking of one’s strong point. Incorrect ” his for-tay is grammar.” Correct “His fort is grammar.” Forte pronounced for-tay is a musical term referring to loudness.

My poor brain is strained and my rage exhausted. I promise more later. And I welcome your own examples.

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